1. People actually say to you "wow, you look tired" even though you've taken the time (well, 20 seconds) to apply a thick layer (okay, three thick layers) of concealer. Thanks for pointing that out. Really.
2. Before you drank coffee simply for its taste. Now you *NEED* it. You can't function without it. You can actually feel the caffeine entering your system and boyyyy does it feel good.
3. You use dry shampoo more than the traditional stuff. Let's face it you get around 30 seconds to shower and dress, if you're lucky. Who actually has time to wash their hair? Clean hair is so 1995.
4. You constantly smell of baby sick/milk spit up, only you're so used to the smell you don't actually notice it.
5. There's always a large patch of milk sick on either shoulder (or both) to accompany the above said smell.
6. Your washing machine has never seen so much action. Ever.
5. You actually day dream about things that you did before and totally took for granted.
A long hot bath, eating food with both hands (now there's a small person constantly lodged in one elbow meaning you have the use of one arm only), popping out (now it takes roughly 3 hours to leave the house), staying awake past 8pm.
6. Your magazine subscription arrives but you haven't even touched last months. Or the months before. Money well spent there.
7. You find yourself on Facebook/twitter/Instagram at 2am. And 3am. And 4am.....
8. Elasticated waistbands are your best friend. *sigh*
9. The sound of your baby burping is like music to your ears. The bigger the better. That's my boy.
10. You find yourself walking nowhere in particular whilst pushing your baby for hours, in the rain, because you know the moment you stop walking they'll wake up. And you hate the rain. And walking come to think of it.
11. You used to be a serious sun worshiper. Now you hate the heat. The sun can frankly do one as far as you're concerned. Keeping a baby cool and comfortable is *not* fun. Being pale is the way forward.
12. You swore you wouldn't be one of *those* mums that gave their baby a dummy/pacifier.
Now you have at least 2. Of every single type. And you can be found shouting "where's the dummmmy" loudly at least 5 times a day.
13. You actually have no idea what day it is, and frankly you don't care.
14. Skinny jeans are a distant memory.
15. You fed the dog this morning. Right? Yes, of course you did. Or was that yesterday? Come to think of it, where IS the dog?
16. The nail varnish on your toes has practically grown out.
17. The last 28 dinners you've eaten have been cold. Hot food is totally over-rated anyway.
18. You're so tired you can't even be bothered to change the TV channel. And the last person to watch it was your 7 year old daughter.
19. You find yourself saying "yes, we totally *did* need this bouncer/play mat/swing, stupid" to your other half. Even though you have so many there's actually no more space on any floors in any rooms.
20. You might have never looked so bad, felt so blimin' tired and your house may never been so messy but you're the happiest you've ever been, ever. You actually grew this little person. Astonishing!
To all new mums out there keep it up, you're doing amazing!
Love Emma XOXO
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