How not to be a MOMBIE!

When I had my daughter, my first baby, I panicked about pretty much anything and everything. My anxiety levels were extreme. As a brand new mum I'm not ashamed to say I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I was a first class mombie. (Definition: an exhausted mother that feeds on coffee and survives on wine). 

I questioned everything I did, every decision I made. (AND I looked like death warmed up whilst doing it *shudder*).

I barely slept for 6 months. Not because my baby didn't, oh no, she slept through from about 10 weeks like a dream. 

I was up most of the night because of two reasons: 

Either Ellie was grunting, moaning and groaning loudly so I thought surely something must be wrong, or Ellie was sleeping so peacefully that I thought perhaps she'd stopped breathing. (Cue me prodding her, placing my hand on her chest or trying to feel her breath on my cheek - which often disturbed her, of course leading her to grunt and moan as above.). 

My husband and I obsessed about room temperature. We had a thermometer in every room and were forever putting on the heating or opening windows to try and maintain the perfect 18 or so degrees.  Was she too hot? Was she too cold? Is that thermometer actually even working? 

There were just so many things I worried about, the list was endless. 

On having my second, in the 8 short weeks Ethan's been with us, my perspective on parenting has been totally different. 

It's not that I don't care as much, not at all. It's that I've learnt that there's no need to be so anxious. That there's actually only a handful of things you need to do/check to keep your baby blissful. Are they fed, winded, dry and warm? Throw in do they need a nap/are they overtired to the mix and you've pretty much nailed it. 

Yes, looking after a newborn is still *the* hardest thing you'll ever do in my opinion, whether it's your first or your fourth. It's just that your second time around it's much easier to be more relaxed. Plus if you are more relaxed the whole experience can actually be much more enjoyable. 

This time around I only change nappies when they actually need changing. I'm not going through 78 nappies a day and if I do find that one is dry I do that bad boy right back up again. 

I don't stress if Ethan doesn't drink exactly 6oz of milk at each and every feed. He's not going to starve (clearly) so there's no need to force it down him just to make myself feel better. Maybe he's just not that hungry right now. He'll soon let me, and everyone else on my street, know when he is. 

I now know if he's been awake for about two hours he gets tired and has a little moan to remind me. That's simply all it is, the kid needs a nap. He's not starving/ill/wants to be rocked into oblivion, he just wants a snooze. And if he doesn't nap when he's "supposed to" it's not the end of the world. There's always the next nap. 

If I have a relatively bad day, say if Ethan's having a growth spurt and all I've done is feed and change him, or he's fought sleep for 20 hours solid there's always tomorrow. It's kind of like the saying 'Today is the first day of the rest of my life' apart from it includes more explosive nappies and milky projectile vomit. 

It's okay to not let someone pick Ethan up if he's sleeping. If you want a cuddle you'll just have to wait. Imagine being in a deep sleep and someone hoisting you up and cooing right in your face, you wouldn't be impressed (except if that someone was Brad Pitt). 

I've learnt not to go straight to Google to check every last 'symptom'. It's just a bit of dry skin not a flesh eating disease caught from my chihuahua. 

It's okay to go to bed at 7pm. Just because I've always gone to bed at midnight after a movie and few G&T's doesn't mean I have to do the same now. (except if that movie is starring Brad Pitt. Can you sense the theme here?). 

Somedays if Ethan will only take a nap like this then so be it (the washing/cleaning/cooking can wait): 

(Excuse the face/hair - that day I was lucky to shower & dress!). 

This time around I remind myself more often that Ethan is just a baby. He's a tiny (well in Ethan's case not so tiny) little bubba that just wants cuddles and kisses, milk and much, much more milk. There's no need to beat myself up if the day doesn't go according to plan - this time I'm definitely more mummy than Mombie. 

Parenting is hard, no one is perfect. If you try your best then that best is certainly enough for your baby. Time is precious, it goes by so quick, so take the time to enjoy each and every moment. After all your baby will soon enough be slamming his bedroom door whilst screaming "mum you're so unfair"....

What have you done differently the second time around? What's your top parenting tip for an easier life with a newborn? 

Check out '20 ways you know you're a new mum' - here

And the 'Unwritten baby age gap rule' - here

Love Emma 

XOXO